Welcome to the world of the original international DJ gigolo and fat bald DJ god.

Randy Squalor Dotcom is a chapel for those who have been touched by the phatness of Randy's beats and girth of his massive tuneage.

Who said old farts can't spin tunes and shag floozies too?

Highlights of Randy's phattest platters which matter, hosted here...

• Randy's Top 100 Zimmer Frame Assault Mix
• The Saucy Seaside Summer Soundgasm
• The Bald Cup 2010 Mix
• The General Erection Mix
• The "No Place Like Home" Mix
• The Be My Valentine Mix
• The Year We Made Contact Mix
• Randy's Christmas Beats
• The New Bald Order Mix
• The Rand That Rocks The Cradle Mix
• Summer Mix - Parts 1 & 2
• The Resurrection Mix
• The Waterpowered Mix

Plus, the full mix archive and other stuff at randysqualor.co.uk...

Check out Randy's Christmas & New Year Message here on Youtube.

In order to get down with the kids, Randy can also be found on Facebook:

Randy On Facebook

Randy Squalor's Exclusive Groupie Club

And bien sur on Myspace:

Randy Myspace

And when Randy's really bored, he manages an occasional dash of Twitter:

Randy's Under-Maintained Twitter Page

Randy however remains banned from Bebo, for 'inappropriate conduct' and impersonating a minor.

Randy also has a fat bald Soundcloud for his fat bald beats:

Randy's Fat Bald Soundcloud

Lastly, Randy also has stickers. Lots of them. So if you want to support Randy's Big Bald Tour, then please drop an address to baldtour@randysqualor.com and a wad of Randy's sticky stuff may arrive on your doorstep...

If you've still got time after all that, maybe just go home, get a life and shag your girlfriend.

PLEASE NOTE: All DJ mixes are produced for promotional use only and on a non-profit basis. Randy Squalor Dotcom is a non-commercial website carrying zero advertising. If any artist or rights holder objects to the use of their track, they are welcome to suck Randy's balls. At length and enthusiastically.